Navigating grief: Insights from the first five weeks
Five weeks since the sudden loss of his beloved wife, Paul shares lessons to date.
May 22, 2024
Things that I’ve learned about grief and the grieving process over the last five weeks:
– There are unexpected grief triggers that I encounter every day. For example, I went on a bike ride this morning and realized this would be the first time I come home from a bike ride and Jody is not there. All the firsts are hard. First Mother’s Day without Jody, first anniversary, first spaghetti and meatballs dinner… The list could go on. Some of these triggers can be anticipated but some come out of the blue.
– There are days when I just have to give into the grief and sit there in a puddle. It feels very natural and right to do this. I cry. I sob. I talk to her. I plead with God.
– I have discovered reservoirs of strength that I didn’t know I had. Also, that there is strength in vulnerability. It has become my new super power.
– There is so much to do when a spouse dies that it can be overwhelming. So many calls and letters to respond to and decisions you have to make at a time when you feel least capable of doing so. I try to tackle one or two things a day.
– There are days when I don’t want to get out of bed. I get up anyway.
– There are times I need to be with others, and there are times when I need to be alone. I try to practice self compassion and kindness to myself.
– My gratitude for the armies of Angels that have lifted me up, held me close, kept me fed and sat with me and my grief is hard to express.
I hope this may be helpful in some small way.
About Paul
If you've navigated the complexities of love, loss, or life's unpredictable twists and turns, this blog is for you. Paul, who was diagnosed with Parkinson's Disease in 2022 and lost his beloved Jody in 2024, is also a father, new grandfather and a speaker/writer. Paul writes to make sense of the world around him, sharing his personal journey through grief, Parkinson’s, and life's challenges. With a mix of lightheartedness, thoughtfulness, and unwavering authenticity, Paul offers a relatable and heartfelt perspective on the human experience. His writing is often described as warm, genuine and deeply moving.