Who am I now?
A widower searching for self.
I stare into the mirror and ask,
Who am I now?
A father, a father-in-law, yes.
A Papa, with gratitude in my soul.
But a husband?
A husband who once treasured every moment by her side,
who reveled in her touch and the warmth of her gaze.
A husband whose hand she held wherever we went,
Whose heart was always filled with love, with worry,
with hope for her joy.
I wanted that more than anything, more than my next breath.
And now it is gone, swept away into the ether like fleeting wisps of smoke.
Who am I now?
A father, a Papa, a friend, a child of God—yes, I am these things.
For now, they must be enough.
As my brokenness struggles to breathe, making itself known.
About Paul
If you've navigated the complexities of love, loss, or life's unpredictable twists and turns, this blog is for you. Paul, who was diagnosed with Parkinson's Disease in 2022 and lost his beloved Jody in 2024, is also a father, new grandfather and a speaker/writer. Paul writes to make sense of the world around him, sharing his personal journey through grief, Parkinson’s, and life's challenges. With a mix of lightheartedness, thoughtfulness, and unwavering authenticity, Paul offers a relatable and heartfelt perspective on the human experience. His writing is often described as warm, genuine and deeply moving.