Permission to begin again
Today, she would let some of the pain go. Not because she wanted to forget him. But because he had loved her enough to want her to keep going.
It was a beautiful morning for a hike—clear, crisp, and perfectly still. As Kathryn stepped out of the car and slung her backpack over her shoulders, she felt its weight. Not just the physical pull, but the emotional burden too—the ache of watching someone you love fade away, the helplessness that comes from wanting to fix what can’t be fixed.
Her thoughts drifted to Palmer and the way he had experienced death—sudden and brutal, like a bomb detonating without warning. One moment there, the next, gone forever. She didn’t know which was worse. Gradual or instant—either way, it left you hollow.
She began walking, the trail familiar beneath her feet. Before long, she reached their place—the spot stitched with memories, the kind that live in your bones. She could almost sense him beside her, just out of reach.
Carefully, she removed the backpack and pulled out the small container. What remained of him was inside. With quiet reverence, she opened it and let the ashes fall gently to the ground—along the path they’d once walked together, the place where they had loved, deeply and well.
She thought back to the year before, when she’d scattered part of his ashes in other places. That day had been filled with sorrow, sharp and heavy. Today felt different. Lighter. Like gratitude. Like release.
It felt like permission.
Permission to move forward. To carry him with her, but to let go of the pain.
To say, finally and fully, “I love you too, Palmer.”
A new chapter had begun.
About Paul
If you've navigated the complexities of love, loss, or life's unpredictable twists and turns, this blog is for you. Paul, who was diagnosed with Parkinson's Disease in 2022 and lost his beloved Jody in 2024, is also a father, new grandfather and a speaker/writer. Paul writes to make sense of the world around him, sharing his personal journey through grief, Parkinson’s, and life's challenges. With a mix of lightheartedness, thoughtfulness, and unwavering authenticity, Paul offers a relatable and heartfelt perspective on the human experience. His writing is often described as warm, genuine and deeply moving.
❤️❤️❤️