Grief at the holidays: Moving forward with faith, hope, and love
Sadness but also joy during the first holidays without his spouse
I’ve discovered that grief has a way of sneaking up on you. Just when you start feeling lighter, less burdened, and more at peace, a grief trigger hits you out of nowhere. Some might call it a “grief ambush,” and that feels more accurate to me.
This holiday season has brought its share of those moments. I should have seen it coming. But as I was moving forward, confident that I had moved past the worst it could throw at me, grief was lurking, waiting to pull me back into the past and remind me of what I’ve lost.
I should have expected it. A month ago, I attended a workshop called “Surviving the Holidays.” I went, not because I thought I needed it, but to see some friends I’ve made this year. But, within minutes of the video starting, I found myself reaching for the tissues. There wasn’t a single thing that caught me off guard—it was everything. The realization that these holidays would be different, and not in a good way, hit me hard. What were once my favorite holidays of the year suddenly became a reason to wish for January to hurry up.
But then I realized that I didn’t have to give in to the pain and loss. I could take action, seek out sources of support to accompany me through my grief: faith, hope, and love.
Faith that I’m surrounded by people and a higher power that love me, understand me, and support me during this ongoing journey. Faith that there’s a greater plan in motion, even if I can’t see it right now. Hope, because I’ve already made it through difficult days—Mother’s Day, anniversaries, birthdays—and I’ve survived them.
And love… what can I say about love? The love of family, of cherished friends who stand beside me, helping me to ward off loneliness and sorrow. The kind of love that endures, celebrates, and triumphs over all.
So yes, there will be grief ambushes—writing Christmas cards with tears in my eyes, pouring over photos from past Christmases—but I will honor my past while continuing to move forward. I am walking into the future with open arms, a future that I get to shape, a future filled with blessings I can’t even imagine yet. And for that, I am deeply grateful.
Love you all
About Paul
If you've navigated the complexities of love, loss, or life's unpredictable twists and turns, this blog is for you. Paul, who was diagnosed with Parkinson's Disease in 2022 and lost his beloved Jody in 2024, is also a father, new grandfather and a speaker/writer. Paul writes to make sense of the world around him, sharing his personal journey through grief, Parkinson’s, and life's challenges. With a mix of lightheartedness, thoughtfulness, and unwavering authenticity, Paul offers a relatable and heartfelt perspective on the human experience. His writing is often described as warm, genuine and deeply moving.
Paul, your writing is amazing. It captures both a vulnerability and authenticity that connects you to people. I know it is therapeutic for you but it will help thousands of people. Good bless you my friend.
When those grief ambushes hit, know that you are strong, that you will survive it and that you are never alone 💜