Out of the darkness: Life 3.0 and finding a way forward
Life's unexpected challenges provide fertile ground for personal growth through the pain.
The past two and a half years have brought massive, unplanned, and demanding adjustments to my life. I am now two years deep into a Parkinson’s diagnosis, navigating life as a widower for the last nine months and three months into retirement. Just about everything I once envisioned for my future has been upended, leaving me to rebuild my sense of purpose and direction from the ground up.
At first, the grief was overwhelming. It was raw—tears, sorrow, and a deep sense of loss that lingered from one moment to the next. There were days when simply getting out of bed felt like a triumph—proof that I was still fighting, still moving forward, even when the weight of everything made every step feel impossible.
I struggled just to keep breathing, each breath feeling heavier than the last. Grief manifests in countless ways, and I had to carve out my own path through it, even though the path forward was painful, uncharted, and filled with doubt and uncertainty.
But slowly, I started to come up for air. I began to accept my new reality, and with that acceptance, I found small, flickering glimmers of hope. New relationships emerged, and I began exploring activities that pulled me out of my comfort zone. It was not easy, but I knew I had to get off the couch—both figuratively and literally. I had to keep moving forward.
This led me to start setting goals. Goals in a variety of categories: Emotional, Physical, Spiritual, Relationships, Growth, Fun. As I thought about goals that would be motivating and supportive of my new life, I sought out things that pushed me, things that made me uncomfortable. It wasn’t just about staying busy; it was about finding purpose in the midst of all the change. I began to feel more at ease in my own skin, even though that skin had changed in ways I hadn’t anticipated.
The grief is still a part of me and always will be, there’s no sense in denying that. But now, I’m able to sit with it, to let it come when it needs to, while also making space for new joys to enter my life. Of course, there are still moments when this journey takes everything I’ve got –reservoirs of courage and grit and resilience that I didn’t know I had. And to be clear, I’m not seeking praise for my progress—I am merely trying to make peace with life on life’s terms. I’m not one to curl up in a ball and lament my ill fortune.
With each step, no matter how great or small the victory, I’m growing into an expanded version of me. Life 3.0. In this journey, I seek ways to honor Jody and the God who’s carried me this far, and who, I believe, isn’t finished with me yet.
Love you all
About Paul
If you've navigated the complexities of love, loss, or life's unpredictable twists and turns, this blog is for you. Paul, who was diagnosed with Parkinson's Disease in 2022 and lost his beloved Jody in 2024, is also a father, new grandfather and a speaker/writer. Paul writes to make sense of the world around him, sharing his personal journey through grief, Parkinson’s, and life's challenges. With a mix of lightheartedness, thoughtfulness, and unwavering authenticity, Paul offers a relatable and heartfelt perspective on the human experience. His writing is often described as warm, genuine and deeply moving.
Your words and feelings jump off the page. It takes courage to work through grief and come to terms with a new life, a new journey and a new version of yourself. You have worked so hard to get to this place. Here’s to Paul 3.0
Thanks for sharing Paul. It’s been great getting to know you better.