The power of affirmation

 

Healthy, well-adjusted adults often practice self-affirmation—developing a solid sense of self-worth, recognizing their capabilities, and living by their defined values. But even those who have a strong sense of self still need external affirmation, especially during times of doubt or challenge. This is where a loving partner or spouse can provide invaluable support.

Affirmations from a loved one hold great significance because they come from a place of trust, care, and deep emotional connection. When someone who knows you intimately affirms your worth, abilities, or character, those words feel especially meaningful and personal. It’s a form of validation that can really lift your spirits and reinforce your sense of self.

Positive affirmations can remind you of your true potential and past successes, boosting your confidence. In relationships, feeling seen and supported by someone close can create a sense of security, making it easier to navigate difficulties and maintain a healthy sense of self. It’s like being reminded that you matter to someone in the world and that your value is recognized.

Jody always knew how to provide that kind of support. When I traveled, she would leave handwritten notes in my shirt pockets—one for each day I was away. Traveling, especially toward the end of my career, could be lonely, and those notes became something I really looked forward to each morning as I prepared for the day.

Some notes were affirming: “Always remember how awesome you are.” Some were loving: “Guess how many times I thought of you today…every minute.” But the best ones were for the days when I was flying home: “I will have dinner waiting for you.”

I realize not everyone is as fortunate as I was to receive such thoughtful support. When affirmations are lacking from someone close, it can feel isolating or discouraging. Without those words, you might question whether your efforts or your worth are truly being recognized, which can lead to self-doubt and emotional distance in a relationship.

Regardless of whether you receive external affirmation, it’s important to affirm yourself. Self-affirmation is about shifting your focus to the positive aspects of who you are and reinforcing the belief that you are enough, no matter what. Here are a few ways to start:

1. Positive Self-Talk: Instead of thinking “I’m not sure I can do this,” try “I’m doing my best, and that’s enough.”
2. Write Them Down: Make a habit of writing affirmations that resonate with you—whether it’s about your strengths, qualities, or things you’re proud of. For example, “I bring value to every situation I’m in.”
3. Celebrate Small Wins: Acknowledge even the little things you do well. Whether it’s completing a task or taking time for self-care, celebrating these moments helps boost your confidence.

The key is consistency—practicing these things regularly can help build a positive relationship with yourself over time.

I’m fortunate to have saved every one of the notes, cards, and letters Jody gave me over the years. Whenever I feel sadness, sorrow, or discouragement, I pull them out and read a few. Little did she know how important they would become to me after her passing—or maybe she did.

Love you all